Mixing it up...

Routine.

Routine kills me. It's not part of my DNA. It's only taken me close to 49 years to get that.

I love the saying that Bill Bradley had on one of his videos - "If you want to be balanced, be average". I couldn't agree more. I'm not saying a balanced life is bad, it's not. It's just not for me.

I've often seen people look for what is wrong with someone and not look at what is good for someone. For example I've seen companies not hire people for what they are not. They look at the flaws and even thought he flaws have nothing to do with doing the job correctly they won't hire them.

To me it's about hiring people for their strengths, not not hiring them because they have weaknesses.

The same thing is in life. People say "you should do this.....".  I can't count how many people told me my problem is I need to be balanced. To not over eat, to not over drink, etc, etc, etc.

News Report - being balanced is not part of my DNA. Nor is routine. I like adventure. I like new experiences. I like challenges. I like putting myself into crazy situations and figuring a way out. It's not even conscious choice, it's sub conscious. It's part of my DNA.

Why fight it?

Like I said it's taken me near 49 years to know thy self. I can't tell you how much energy I wasted over the years trying to be balanced or something that others thought was an ideal. I equate it to someone telling a tiger they need to act more like a sheep. It's just not possible, a tiger is a tiger and a sheep is a sheep.

So what do you do?

You accept it and enjoy your life through it. For example I don't like routine. I see it in my eating habits. I'm not one of those people that can sit down and have the same breakfast day after day. I can do it for a few days, maybe even a week but that's it. Max.

This morning proved it. For the past few days prior I was having eggs on toast. This morning I woke up and you couldn't pay me enough to have eggs on toast. My DNA was revolting. So I listened to my body and had a piece of toast and peanut butter. Other mornings I would have had Quaker Oats and fruit.

I didn't know what I was going to have. It was an adventure. I knew I wasn't having eggs and toast. I was following my intuition and as I ran food choices through my mind the right one came up and the lights went off.

Same with training. Yesterday I had an hour long meeting I was listening in on and decided to ride my bike. Today I had the same circumstance and more, it was two meetings back to back I had to listen in on. So I decided to ride again.

Near the end of the ride it was tough. Riding two days in a row is a routine. That is why I like triathlons. You mix up the sessions. A run today and a bike tomorrow breaks it up. Add in some swimming and weights and change up the order and I'm cool with it.

Doing just straight cycling or straight running or swimming everyday to me is boring. It's more than boring. It takes me to a dark place and it starts to feel like work and days blend into each other. Mixing it up makes it feel fresh.

Tomorrow I have a meeting I could ride again as well. I just can't. If I did I'd start to feel like I wanted to throw up.

Tonight I was organizing my photos. I have over 10,000 photos on my computer and every once and I while I go through them and delete the ones I don't need - like food shots and selfies.

As I was looking at the photos it was interesting as my entire life I've went from thin to fat and back again too many times to count. If someone asks me and I a thin guy or a fat guy my natural state is to be fatter than thinner.

Why do I go up and down?

Again I think it's to change it up. Sometimes being to fit and working out all the time is a lifestyle. Then there is times I want to switch it up. I want to eat more, I want to party, I want to smoke cigars, I want to live on the edge. This is fun but causes weight gain.

Then when it gets to the point of not healthy and my pants don't fit I decide it's time to switch it up again and get the weight down and change the lifestyle up. I usually make this decision in the moment. It's not a drawn out process. It's immediate. Just like when I think I should do an Ironman, I don't think about it, I just sign up.

I even look at my professional career. I love start ups. Always have. There is a great level of excitement and adventure in a start up. Everything is new. You have to create everything from scratch. It's not only the product and getting it to market, it's the culture, the hiring. It's all uncertain and moving quick mistakes are made and adjustments have to be made.

I've been on both sides of the fence, start up then growing it to established business and I did it over a 20 year period with a single business. Of course there was at time crisis as markets change and getting into new product lines. But when it was running just in a routine I got bored and it became very ungradifying. The last time that happened I decided I needed excitement so that's when I took the routine at work and got into training for Ironman in the mornings and evenings.

Oh how I wish I would have known myself at 20 and it didn't take me so long to understand and accept my super powers in my late 40's. Yes, you heard it right, "my super powers". We all have them. The key is to understand them and then work with them and not try to work around them.

Even on this journey I'm on now I find there is things I love and then there is things I need to hire people that are very different than me in their super powers. It's really a great natural wonder of the world how we are all so different and rely on each other.

In my years past I'm sure I would have been good at leading a war. The crisis, the excitement, the challenges.

This past year has been the most incredible ride and adventure. Much of it I didn't like but all of it stretched me into understanding who I really am on the inside.

I'm not scientifically certain but I think most people stop growing personally and accepting insight into themselves as they get older. Chronologically or mentally. I think people get comfortable in their comfort zone and don't stretch out never putting themselves in emotional harms way.

My mission in life is to always get better. To be a better person. It's hard. It's hard as when you get older you get set in your ways and just do what you want to do as an escape to not do the hard stuff that could expose that you are no longer growing.

For me this weight loss journey is more than just about losing weight. It's about getting my identity back. When I look back at all my years. The best years were when I was thinner. That is when I made my most major accomplishments. I think it is because when you are thinner you are more confident and more disciplined and more in control.

When you start gaining weight you are riding the way and not in control.

This past year was an example. I gained near 20 lbs in one year. When you think about that, that's about .5 lbs per week and consistently. I look back and I had lots of emotional turmoil in my life and was definitely not in control. It happens when you start something like an app and the anxiety of not knowing if it will work can only be determined when it launches and then burning through personal savings doesn't help.

To me one of my motivations is get down to the weight that I was most happy in myself personally and my relationships. That was 2008 and I was about 181 - 183 lbs. I look back at pictures of me there and it is like looking at a different person. It was me at my absolute best.

There was two periods in my life that I was at my absolute best. The first was when I was around 22 years old and I got back into triathlons, moved into a house with my then girlfriend, now wife Alice and started my career at Image Color. It was a rich time.

The second richest time in my life started in 2008 - 2010. I changed my life once again. I lost 50 lbs, got back into Ironman's after a 16 year layoff. Sold a business that for years was boring and sucking the life out of me and got into the best shape of my life by far. Met a lot of new friends through triathlon and mostly through twitter. Life was just so damn rich.

After 2010 and specifically finishing Kona Ironman I started to slide. I felt it at the time, it stared just after I qualified for Kona. Now I was riding the wave. Still having fun but slowly I was loosing my discipline and riding my fitness throughout living a more unhealthy lifestyle. Then I got involved in a start up I didn't have full control over, worked my ass off and realized I once again lost my true self in the process.

I'm now back. I'm now in control of my personal career. The first time that I'm in 100% control and I'm ready to get back to that best person I can be. I know what that person looks like and I know what that person feels like. It's now time to once again start the adventure to reverse the current and take the lessons I've learned and move back to that person I really am.

Switching gears, on the eating front I tried a new recipe I found. You take a banana. You cut it in the middle. Then you put peanut butter in the middle. Put the banana back together. Wrap it in saran wrap and freeze it. Then eat it.

It's an awesome healthy snack that feels like your eating ice cream or something that can't possibly be good for you.

Bike 1:37 / 43 km

No beer...

Today was day 11 of my weight loss journey. I have been absolutely PERFECT in eating healthy according to weight watchers. They give me 40 points per day and I have not yet exceeded them, even though I'm allowed to as they give me bonus points and exercise points.

I'm a man on a mission. Hypnosis every morning and weight watchers is my guide. Even now after 11 day I have a tough time using the word Weight Watchers, I feel like such a girl. But at the end of the day I don't care. Weight Watchers works for me. There is none of the strict foods you can only eat. I can eat anything I want so long as I keep my point total under 40.

Make no mistake the hypnosis is working for me too. There is no doubt the mind is what guides the body and when the mind is ready the body is able. The daily hypnosis tapes are a great way to start the day with reinforcement. I'm actually looking forward to them. It's a great way to start your day with positive reinforcement.

I had a meeting at 11 am. It was one of those meetings that I was more listening into rather than participating in. It wasn't a meeting I was looking forward to because of that.

Suddenly about 4 minutes before the meeting was to begin on Skype I got the idea to ride my bike. It was the perfect situation that I could listen in and multi-task and riding the bike was a perfect workout for that.

So I rushed upstairs, quickly changed and was on the my bike and listening into the call which lasted 55 minutes. It was a perfect workout situation. It was actually better than perfect as the 55 minutes went by faster than even if I was watching TV or a movie. It was great. There is no greater feeling than finishing a call and finishing your workout. It kind of feels like you aren't even working.

After the call I had an open 1 hour break in the action until my next meeting. Again, I think it's the hypnosis driving me and next thing I know I felt a strong urge to go to the gym for a quick weights workout.

There was something just internally driving me to get to the gym. I visualized how a short period in the gym weightlifting carries your fat burning all day and beyond. It's a little effort for a long lasting effect.

I also felt ready from a physical standpoint. Today I woke up with no calf soreness and leg soreness from the Insanity workout I did on Sunday. That workout beat me up. Rather than just pushing through it I realized that so long as I'm sore I'm still receiving benefit and no need to pile on the exercise. When you do it's just a case of diminishing returns. It's better to wait and in that time your motivation gets higher as your risk of burnout is lower.

As I've gotten older and wiser I find myself listening to my body more. I think not having a race to prepare for also allows me to not be so regimented in forcing myself to train regardless of how my body feels.

The weight lifting for some reason is giving me a great workout. The last session really kicked my ass hard, this one still kicked me a bit, not as hard but hard enough that I felt I got a lot of benefit as I was walking out the door. All my muscles were pumped up. I also like going at around 1 pm, hardly anyone in the gym.

This afternoon was probably on of the best brainstorming meetings of my life. Me and my partner started off the session with nothing and as we talked some concepts came up that never in a million years would I have thought the conversation and ideas would have went. Much of it was based on a framework we are using to develop our app by a very well known and experienced gaming person.

It took about two hours and by the end my brain was actually a little sore. I was done. Which is a great sign. I think a big part of it too is that I'm training and the creative juices are flowing. Not to mention my emotional stability has pretty much flat lined now that I know we are financed and it's no longer a worry.

After our meeting it was off to Toronto for another meeting. A dinner meeting at a casual pub type restaurant. This would me my first venture to a restaurant since starting the diet 11 days ago.

When I got there is was one of those places that looks like they had great burgers and fries and a lot of different beers on tap.

In the past year when I walk into places like that my first reaction is "beer me" and my second reaction is "I'll take the hamburger and fries, gravy on the fries please".

So the waitress comes to the table and asks what we want to drink, immediately I say "water". She did a double take, I caught her off guard, I guess very few come into the bar area and ask for water. I didn't ask for diet coke or sparkling water, I just wanted a water. Then she regained her composure and said, "no problem sounds good".

I've even been off the diet cokes since starting this diet which is amazing. I'm normally a huge diet coke drinking. I have upped my coffee intake however. I'm loving my coffee. I've learnt that coffee takes so much better with half and half as well. Just plain milk doesn't cut it for me any more.

Food wise I order a sushi salad. In the past it would have been chicken. I always felt I wasn't getting real food when I ordered sea food. This time I felt a natural inclination to go for the seafood.

No desire for beer and just wanting the salad and enjoying the salad fully. Weird sensation. A first. And I repeat NO desire for beer. Has to be the hypnosis.

So far I don't think I've had one day that I felt like cheating. If anything my body tends to be craving healthy foods more. I'm not watching carbs or counting calories. I'm just eating normally and I feel the chewing of the food and fully tasting slowly what I'm eating has been the most powerful method to keep my meals smaller yet not feel I'm depriving myself.

Another day, another win.

Bike - 55 minutes / 26 km
Weights 45 minutes.

The test...

Most days I work from my home office. Today I had to venture out into the wild for some meetings. This would be the first time since I started my diet 10 days ago that I would not be near the creature comforts of home.

The big unknowns to me were..."Am I going to be distracted? Am I going to somehow lose my motivation? Am I able to venture out of my controlled bubble safely?"

The reality of today was that I forgot to eat all day. Which could be just as bad as over eating. It's an imbalance.

I left the house at 9 am and had multiple meetings right up until 3 pm and didn't have time to stop for lunch. So at 3 pm I walk in the door and was now getting hungry. It was the moment of truth.

Moments like this where you haven't eaten and you are now hungry create the perfect situation to overeat. I had to be so careful and I knew it. Especially when you are eating lunch at 3 pm and dinner is not far behind.

In many ways I felt like a bull rider and I had to hang on. I needed to stay calm, stay in control and really not over eat. Not to mention my mind was racing from all the meetings I was in and I was in go, go, go mode which can mean "I don't know what I'm putting in my mouth mode" and you just mindlessly chew on anything near you.

I knew I needed to deal with this situation delicately. I needed to get food into me gently. It was a defining moment.

What I mean by that is getting out of the hunger mode without going into the overeating mode and get things back to a routine mode. There is no doubt in my mind that eating regularly throughout the day is the best way to go. Not eating regularly messes up your blood sugar, causing cravings and that is when it becomes so easy to over eat.

I managed to succeed.

How? I chewed slowly. I was rushing to get something made, I could feel myself going to my old habit of getting as much food on the plate and putting it in the microwave and then eating it fast. In this case I worked as hard as I could to slow everything down and by the time the food was on my plate and on the table I was in the mind set to eat slow. It was a good start.

It didn't end there. Now I had eaten, next was dinner and any snacks. I dodged a bullet but the day wasn't over I still had to get through the day.

I did it and the key was chewing my food slowly and then savouring it.

I'm finding the hypnosis has been super valuable. I can't say for certain if I've been hypnotized and it's working. It could all be in my mind, which is really what hypnotism is I guess, so I guess it's working.

What I find is that the hypnotism has caused me to not act out food emotionally. It has kept me balanced in my approach of dealing with issues or situations that would have otherwise caused me to grab something to eat as a coping method.

I think the best way to describe hypnosis is that it keeps the planes wings balanced. They are not moving up and down and so does the slow chewing, which is one of the suggestions made through the hypnotism.

Another interesting element of the hypnotism is that I have cravings to eat healthy foods. If I want to snack I don't even want popcorn, I want yogurt and frozen blueberries. I start thinking of foods in a sense of whether they are "alive" or "dead" foods.

I've been tracking my food on weight watchers and notice that as every day goes by I'm eating more "power foods" naturally. Power foods are fruits, vegetables, etc.

I'm finding that I'm eating according to what my body needs. This morning my body was wanting Quaker Oats and fruit. Most mornings it's eggs and toast.

The only thing I did not do today was train. I had meetings up until 6 pm. I had been away all day and there was other stuff I had to focus on. My mind needed settling. The exercise may have helped but it just didn't feel right.

I know I don't need it as I'm shuffling around the house right now with sore legs from previous workouts. So I called an audible and took a "rest day".

If I have one take away from today it's that I didn't realize how much emotional stress plays on one's eating habits. I knew if from a text book perspective but now I'm seeing it from an internal perspective. It's like seeing it from the inside out, not the outside in.

Of course now I'm deathly afraid to stop listening daily to the hypnosis.

Oh and before I forget. Today was a BIG day, it was the finish of day 10 of my diet. I made it into the double digits. That's a big deal considering up until this 10 day stretch I don't think I made it more than 3 days before.

My first official weigh in...

Last Monday I did my first official weigh in on my Weight watcher diet. They want you to weight yourself once a week. Today was the moment of truth. Would a week of eating PERFECTLY and exercising pay off?

I felt pressure. What if I didn't lose weight? What would that do to me mentally?

Good news is I lost weight.

I weighed in at 204 lbs. In my first week I lost 1.4 lbs. At first I was a little disappointed. I was hoping for a 3 - 5 lb weight loss. Or even a 2 lb weight loss. The more I thought about it I realized that 1.4lbs is not bad. If I factor in the weight loss with the gain of muscle it probably was a 2 - 3 lb weight loss.

The one thing I do know is that it's a true and hard fought 1.4 lbs. I worked for it and I earned it. What made me feel good was when I googled what does one pound of fat look like and it was a nice handful. When you see it in the raw form it's a lot more than you think a pound is in your mind.

Today is now the beginning of the next week on this journey and day number 9. I went for a run this afternoon. It's starting to warm up and other than having to dodge puddles on the sidewalks and get wet shoes it was good.

As I was running I was thinking, "I'm at 204 lbs, be happy. It wasn't long ago that you tipped out at 210.4 lbs. To be 6 lbs down from a 4 week ago high is great. Put it in perspective".  Turns out that 210.4 lbs was on February 2nd.

I was right. At 210.4 lbs I was at the height of my discouragement. I didn't feel good mentally and I could barely put my pants on and do up the button. I'm not near where I want to be yet but I do know where I don't want to go ever again.

The day began with my listening to hypnosis tape. I'm on day 9 and every time I listen to it I hear something new. I'm actually paranoid that I NEED to listen to it as I don't want to mess anything up and get off my weight loss roll.

I also think that this week will be a very interesting week. If I'm going to lose more than 3 lbs in one week I think it's going to be this one.

Eating healthy has not been that difficult on this diet. It's been easier than I thought it would be. There is one snack that I absolutely love. It's an oldie but a goodie. Its' the closest thing to eating ice cream with out the calories and a hugely healthy snack.

It's plain yogurt with frozen blueberries.

You take the yogurt, put it in a bowl and pour in the frozen blueberries. Then mix it up.

The frozen berries then start to freeze the yogurt and it takes on an ice cream texture and the blueberries are sweet so it makes is taste sweet naturally. No sugar, no nothing.

So here I am, day 9 in the books. Down 1.4 lbs in one week and down exactly 4 lbs from February 22nd.

For fun I decided just to add up the weight gain and loss that I've had over the last 30 days it's been 13 lbs. That's down 2 pounds, up 2 pounds and up and down and the downs equal 13 lbs.

If I calculate the entire year I've probably lost 130 plus pounds if I use that formula. Just shows it can be done. The difference is being able to string those losses together in a row for a month.

Physically I'm feeling sore and I LOVE IT!!! Feeling like an athlete again. Can hardly walk because my calf hurt when I walk. I can run. Just can't walk. All from the Insanity workouts.

Run - 1:00 / 8.99 km

Let the insanity begin...

Day 8 of my weight watchers diet. I'm proud to say that I've had 8 straight days of perfect eating according to the diet program.

It may not seem like much but it's a pretty big accomplishment in my books. I can't remember the last time I've had 8 days eating healthy and no slip ups. I'm actually feeling pretty proud of myself.

There was moments this past year I didn't know if I even had it in me to stay the straight and narrow with my diet anymore. I'd question how I was able to do it in my younger years and yet as I've gotten older I wasn't able.

It was like being on a self sabotage reel that would go over and over. Eat well for one or two days and then go off the rails for 5 days plus.

After 8 days it's amazing how you start feeling the feelings of old. It's like it time travels you back in time. To the time you were able to eat healthy, lose weight and feel great.

The hypnosis tapes every morning has also been very helpful. It's a great way to start the day with some positive thoughts entering your brain and conditioning your thoughts right away. Now that I've been doing it for 8 days there is no way I want to stop.

My mission is to get to the end of the month, or at least until March 27th. March 27th is the Three Dog Night concert in PA. I have a feeling I might go off the diet that night, perhaps a few beers. To win my bet I need to be flawless until then and if I'm not where I need to be then I'll have to be a good boy right up until the end of the month.

With all that said I'm still a little disappointed with the weight loss to date. Tomorrow is my official weekly weigh in and maybe I was bloated today or something. I'm currently only down .6 lbs and was so discouraged I actually started up a live chat with the weight watchers team.

I wanted to know if I was doing something wrong.

I've followed the diet strictly and not even using any of the given "cheat points" or my additional exercise points. The person told me not to be discouraged that I should expect between .5 - 2 lbs of loss per week. In a strange way it helped getting that info. And normally I don't like chat, but with WW it's great they are very responsive.

I also did some google searching on the best exercises to do to start the fat burning process. It wasn't a surprise when it said that short, intense intervals was the best and that long cardio exercises did virtually nothing.

One great article talked about how running extreme distances has only been proven to lose about 5 lbs per year. I have to agree. I learned long ago that you cannot exercise yourself to lose weight only. You need to diet, no ifs ands or buts.

So I found a weight training program I printed out. It's one of those Monday, Wednesday and Friday deals. The good thing about it is its' only about 4 exercises per day. It should be an in and out session.

Next research I found explained how the Insanity workout was pretty good as it combined both cardio and interval training. I've done it before for 12 days and it's a bear of a workout. It's about 45 minutes and you can't wait for it to end, it's painful.

Being motivated I made my way downstairs and did the insanity workout this morning. Just as I thought it was brutally hard. Much harder than when I did it before. I was in better shape before. In fact as I think about it it was about a year ago to the day that I started that workout.

Today's was much harder to complete this workout. Near the end I was in extreme pain and could hardly move through the exercises. The best part of finishing this workout was finishing and the gratification that I did it. It was a major win.

Last year I remember my calf's hurting. It took a week or so for them to stop hurting. Today they started to hurt again. It's a not great feeling. I worry that it will hurt my running. This year I decided I'm not going to do Insanity everyday. I'm going to mix it up with the weight training and the running, biking and swimming cardio.

Another thing I've been thinking about doing is hot sauna's or hot tub at LA Fitness. I'm thinking maybe that will get the metabolism higher and force the body to work harder.

One of the things I think is helpful on the hypnosis tapes is that they suggest you visualize your ideal self and feel what it likes. It's very powerful.

Today was stocking up on food for the week. Lots of fruit and low point food. My preference is fruit over vegetables. Alice is the opposite. It takes a while for the body to adjust to fruit, at first it tastes sour. Then it adjusts and it tastes so sweet. It's amazing how your taste buds change.

I'm kind of looking forward to tomorrow and hoping I'll be down at least a pound I'd be over the moon if I was down 2 lbs. Heck at minimum I deserve being down 2 lbs with all the discipline and commitment I've shown over these past 8 days.

Insanity Workout - 45 minutes.

I can see the light...

I think I've tried virtually every diet on the planet and I don't say that lightly.

I've even done a week long fast in British Columbia years back where I paid airfare and over $1000 (I think it might have been $2000) to go to a cabin in the woods.

I was with a bunch of new age people and ate nothing but water along with nightly enemas. No joke. Oh and their was daily yoga instructed by Woody Harrelson's one time personal yoga instructor who travelled with him every where he went. I did lose 13 lbs in 7 days.

The one diet that has worked for me in the past was Weight Watchers. I know it's a very girly program. Even the Weight Watchers site has not one male. In 2007 when I was getting back into shape I went to weight watcher meetings and it worked.

Since that time I really didn't need to diet. When you train 15 - 20 hours for Ironman's you can pretty much eat whatever you want.

When you stop training and put a bunch of stress into your life you gain 20lbs pretty easy and the only way to take it off is diet.

In the past year I've tried the Ketosis Diet and the Banting Diet, which is high fat, low carbs. It kind of works but you really feel like you are depriving yourself. It's an easy formula to follow. You lose weight quickly in the beginning, mostly water as carbs hold water. Then when you do have carbs, like a beer you bloat up.

I actually can't believe it's taken me this long to get back onto the weight watchers diet. I guess what motivated me was remembering that it worked in the past and it worked.

So I signed up online and started back on March 1st, this time online. This is kind of my last kick at the can. I've pissed my self off with a lot of stops and starts and broken self promises. The kind that had really started to piss me off as I'm a master at setting my mind to something and doing it.

I've been on the diet for 6 days now and I realize why it works for me and why I think it's probably one of the best diet programs hands done. First off you can eat any food you want. They don't restrict you to only this, or only that.

What they do do is a point system. You are allowed 40 points each day and each food is given points. Stuff like fruit and vegetables are 0 points.

I was doing some reading about it and the premise behind weight watchers is to help you lose weight as part of a lifestyle change. They want you to lose weight slowly with the intent that if you lose the weight slowly you will be building great eating habits along the way so that it's something you continue after you lose the weight.

Seems like a pretty sound plan to me. I also like that I don't have to restrict the type of food that I can or can't eat. The only restriction they have is no alcohol and I understand why. There is no way you can lose weight and drink alcohol, especially beer.

Beer is one of those foods that for the dawn of time since it was invented was to provide nutrients and keep everyone fat and happy. I watched the most cool documentary on beer and it was amazing how important beer was and many a soldier in every old school war relied on it.

But the side effect of beer is it is rocket fuel. It turns off your fat burning system for at least 24 hours and when combined with unhealthy eating or late night snacking it's a deadly combination to help gain weight. I'm not sure if they treat anorexia people with beer, if not, they should.

I've been weighing myself daily, even though I know it should only be done once a week. I can't help myself I want to see the changes. If I'm done it gives me positive reinforcement to start my day, and unfortunately the reverse happens if I'm up.

This week I've been up and down. I started at 205 lbs, then went down to 203.4 lbs and then back up to 204.3 lbs today. I have 2 more days until Monday, my official weekly check in and even still I should be happy I'm down .7 lbs and I'm toning up. Just have to stay positive.

The hypnosis audio I've been listening to every morning I think has been super helpful. If for nothing else I eat and savour my food much more than I think I ever have. Looking back I'm amazed at how much I ate without tasting my food, my eating habits where more based on consuming volume than anything else.

I did some work this morning. Finance stuff. There is something about getting all that done that is so gratifying.

It took me until about 2:30 pm and then it was time for me to go on a run. I was either going to run or do the Insanity workout. From an increasing the metabolism perspective the Insanity workout is better, from a me enjoying my training, I love running.

Out of the three sports I do, running I enjoy most, then cycling is next and finally swimming. Weight training is before swimming and maybe Insanity is as well.

What I like about running is the zone I get into. I listen to 70's music and it puts me in a state that I can work through any issues or problems. I can also take me from the most of pissed off moods and by the time I get home I'm tranquil. And as a stress release there is nothing better, not even beer. Well actually beer can do it but it takes longer and so does the recovery.

My run was good and slow. It was at least starting to warm up, I think it was about -2C. The sidewalks are starting to melt and that's a good sign.

My heart rate is also starting to stay low for much of the run. That is also a really great sign. It means I'm getting is shape and shows me I'm eating properly. Well kind of.

At around near halfway point of the run I could tell I was fading with little energy. Which is to be expected when you are eating about 1400 calories per day. In a strange way I didn't mind it though. I did notice it on the back half of the run as my heart rate went from the 130's to the 150's. It even caused me to start walking at times to bring it down to sub 140 bpm.

The cool part of running on less fuel is that it kind of makes the run epic in a mini way. It gives you a taste but doesn't mentally wear you down. I actually pretended to myself it was like being in an Ironman and yet knowing I'm going to be home soon and not have to go through the real pain and suffering. I really have no desire to go back to that pain and suffering.

Mind you I did see some results from a double Ironman and it kind of got my interest. I did quit Ironmans but I never said I quit doing double or triple Ironmans or 100 mile runs. Mind you sounds good now but it would be horribly painful to do them.

Instead I want to do route 66 drives with Alice or do some travelling and sitting on outdoor patios with a nice cool beer. Just even thinking about it it seems so much more civilized.

The one thing I did think about on my run was not giving up on your dreams. I haven't. There is one dream I have and that is to grow a really large business. I've had it since a young kid. I haven't given up on the dream. I've come close but never have.

It got me thinking about Epic Bill Bradley. He lost it all. He used to have a large chain of video rental places in California and then they went bankrupt. His wife left him. He had no place to live and ended up on a friends couch. And Bill wasn't young. He was probably in his mid to late 40's.

Then Billy did something to what some would think is strange. He started doing epic long endurance events. Like triple Ironmans, like the race across america, like Badwater 135 mile runs and the list just gets longer and longer. He's also tried to cross the English channel about 5 times and this year will be his 6th attempt.

On my run I was thinking about Bill. He has now started on a new journey of becoming a motivational speaker. He tried for a number of years and to his own admission didn't fully commit with his soul. He now has. He's practicing daily, he's taking hypnosis, he's doing videos and a lot of free engagements and now he's starting to get paid.

What I love about Bill is he has not given up on living the dream. I think he's mid 50's and inside he has the fire of a young person and the desire from within to take it to the next level. He doesn't think about age or circumstance, he's just moving forward.

I feel the same way and I think I'm at the perfect age. In business most people become very successful and realize their dreams in their 30's. For those that miss that window of time I've rarely seen them succeed. I'm not sure why it's probably that their light burns out or they just don't learn lessons from their mistakes.

When you even look at history, very few amazing founders of business made it after 50 years old. A couple that do come to mind is Ray Kroc of McDonalds and Coronnel Sandards of KFC fame.

For me I've done well but I haven't realized my dream. But I haven't given up. In fact I'm more motivated than I ever have been. In my mind I don't question if I'm going to achieve my goal, that is not my concern. My only concern is to make sure I live long enough.

I've always said I can win any race so long as I don't run out of road.

In my world I find the everyday man like Bill Bradley a true inspiration because he just doesn't give up and that is not easy with all the naysayers in this world.

My favorite quote of Bills is "If you want to be balanced, be average".

In my minds eye I still think I'm in my 30's, even physically. I'm so focused on getting weight down and into Ironman type shape again that I forget I'm going to be 50 this year and at 50 I'm not supposed to look in great shape. In fact it's expected that you can start letting yourself go.

Not me. I just don't know why I can't be in the same physical shape as a fit 30 year old. It's not even something I think is impossible. I've been in Ironmans where I see guys in their 60's from behind that I think are 30 year olds. The only way I know is by their age on their calf as part of the race markings and when I pass I look and their faces have some wrinkles. You definitely wouldn't know from the body.

I have one of those Ironman scales in the bathroom that does body fat and even gives you your relative age in fitness and a ranking, 10 being the highest. Right now my body fat is 17% and my fitness is that of a 24 year old. When I was in great shape, my body fat was 11% and I was a fit as a 12 year old and on the scale I was a 10, now I'm just a 6.

Here's to not giving up on your dreams and living life to the fullest.

Run - 1:08 / 10.24 km

No surrender...

In the past year my dietary habits have been, well, unhealthy. I've eaten some bad food and drank a lot of beer. It's the beer that I really felt killed me. 

The other think that killed me was the Salmon Social journey I took. It was a pretty crazy time. Moving to Boise for 3-months to develop and launch the app. A documentary about the journey was filmed and we stayed in the most dreary condo, although it looked nice in the pictures. 

It was a show condo and the furniture looked nice but uncomfortable and it didn't take long for drama to ensure with my roommate. We accomplished the goal, had a lot of cool experiences along the way for sure but to cope I spent much of my time out of the condo and at the local pub working down the street often sipping on my friend Coors Light. 

My plan in Boise was to work and train and I had all these preconceived ideas. Instead where were located in Meridian it was flat boring cycling and much colder than I thought it would be. 

All and all that was the beginning of my downward spiral or shall we say my upward weight gain. It just got worst from there. 

It was good times and it was the worst of times. The good times were creating the app and everything to do with the team that built the app and the marketing experiences along the way. It was the worst of times as I felt I was trapped in this condo and the drama that ensured. A documentary was filmed of the journey and I'm sure it has enough material to be interesting. 

During the process I learned so much on so many levels. I most realized how important my family is to me and how Alice creates an environment that brings out the best in me. I also realized that doing crazy adventures away from home for long periods of time sound really cool at the time you come up with them but then there is times of regret when you actually have to live them. 

Getting back home after that journey was so great on so many levels. At first it didn't even feel like I was in my house, I felt like a guest. 

Next stop on the journey was trying to figure out how to make Salmon Social go. It was a great idea that needed mass adoption and going in I knew it had a one in a million shot and was a billion dollar idea or bust. The decision to get into it was made one night and the team was assembled within a week and within 30 days I was in the condo with the team creating the app.

We start the journey March 3rd, 2014, almost an exact year to the day. 

I finally came to the conclusion and difficult decision in September that the app was not going to take off and my next journey began. For me to have to quit anything is not in my nature and it was a very tough pill to swallow and I spent a lot more money on the journey than I anticipated. 

The next part of the journey was learning from my mistakes. Something I've done my whole career. I actually thought that I made as many mistakes as I could and I learned that wasn't the case. I just made another. Another tough pill to swallow. I reflect back and knowing what I know now I wouldn't have started that journey. 

Why? Because not long after I closed down Salmon Social I had an idea for Deal Wheel. Well actually I had a friend who inspired me. By that I mean gave me a pretty good idea and I ran with it. 

This time around however I didn't jump into it blind. I think it had to do with not having the money to throw at it and the experience I had near the end of Salmon Social in trying to raise money from VC's. 

I always thought VC's looked at a concept, if they like it, liked the team the money would flow. I envisioned your typical thoughts of all these Silicon Valley companies getting millions of dollars to launch ideas on a whim. 

That was a totally wrong thought. I quickly realized the VC's were really smart and didn't suffer fools lightly. In about 2 minutes that can tell if they want to be involved, or if the plan is solid and can be pretty tough in their dismissal of you. It's very humbling and it's an ego-beater upper. 

That's why I bailed on Salmon Social I realized it was more than an uphill battle and no one but me was getting excited about it regardless of how I took their criticisms seriously and worked very hard to present the opportunity in ways they wanted it in. 

I could write a book about what they want and how dismissive they could be. It happens when you see hundreds of proposals each year I guess. Some of the guys were really great and not only listened but gave helpful advice. Others were polite and some were just down right A-holes. 

It was a humbling experience. 

Starting the new app I took a completely different approach based on what I was learning. And the learning I was getting was super valuable. In fact I wish I knew at 24 what I learned at 49 years old. It would have saved me a lot of business heart ache. Not that I didn't manage to succeed over my career I just look back at how much I could have made better decisions and succeeded earlier and possibly even more. 

All during this process, which was an emotional roller coaster of epic proportions I coped with an unhealthy lifestyle. Food and having beers to unwind was my escape. There was times I was wondering how I ever lost weight in the past and did 9 Ironmans over the past 7 years. It was another humbling experience. 

One of the positives that did come out of it was I became less conscious of how I looked and cared less if people judged me by looking at me and saying to themselves "wow, did Bryan ever gain weight. What happened to him as an Ironman". In the past when I wear my Ironman shirts and I was in good shape people would always ask me about Ironman, now no one was asking about it. 

But I didn't care, or at least less than 10% of the time. Perhaps it was age, now I was 49 and it's expected. Or maybe it was just I didn't care, I was still the same person inside. 

I can without exception say that from the later part of October until now, I've never worked so hard in my life and what I was working on was a business plan for my new app Deal Wheel. And by working on it I mean validating the idea on every level. 

I had to determine if in fact it was in fact a good idea, would people use it, would people pay to advertise, could it make money and would people believe in it enough and the team to actually take their hard earned cash and invest in it? 

The big thing for me personally as well was is it something worth pursuing? I'm 49 years old and although a young 49 years old, time is no longer a commodity like it was when I was 24 years old. I don't have 4 or 5 years to determine if it will work or not and if not go on to my next journey. I needed to know if it was worth pursing at all and would work. Period. 

I spent the next 4-months validating the idea with consumers and customers, building the financial models, interviewing people, presenting to potential investors and revising and reworking the plan over and over again and looking at it from every angle and basically putting in near every working hour working on it or thinking about it and all the while eating into savings and complete uncertainty about my future. 

It takes a toll and for me as a very passionate person I became all consumed in it and my training and diet suffered. Big time. 

Since last year I gained 20 lbs. I went from 190 lbs with decent muscle to 210 lbs and soft. When you factor in the muscle loss its' more than 20 lbs in real world terms. 

So where am I now? We'll last week I found my investors. Almost immediately I felt an emotional change from going from uncertainty to knowing what to do next and what to deal with. From start up to building a great company and dealing with all the trials and tribulations in between I'm extremely confident I can handle it all and succeed. 

It was almost immediately after finishing that process that I started to feel a renewed energy to get back and drop some weight. The other motivation was I tried on a couple of pairs of pants and couldn't do them up. Out of my 4 pairs of jeans I can only wear two. That was a major wake up call for me. 

Next step was I knew I needed help. I watched an epic Bill Bradley video and he talked about hypnosis and getting them off the Internet. I thought about going to hypnotherapist as I'd done it before and thought the drive to get there was a bit of a waste of time and before spending the money why not try it.

Then my next stop was to sign up for weight watchers online. I've tried the free stuff online with counting calories in the past and the Banting diet and all the rest and I remember back that when I lost weight before I went to weight watchers. I was one of the only guys. 

This time I didn't want to travel to meetings, to much time wasting. I know how to follow the program and signed up online. Weight Watchers is great in that you don't need pay much. 

Another BIG motivator was a couple of bets that I have going that if I don't get down to 198 lbs by the end of the month I owe these two guys a total of $600. If that isn't motivation what is. 

So March 1st, 6 days ago, I began listening to the hypnosis daily and following the weight watchers plan strictly. The hypnosis I'm listening to can be found here. 

So far I've lost about 2.5 lbs and with the exercise I'm doing am feeling trimmer. What's really good is I'm feeling confident that I'm going to do this. The immediate thing I noticed is I'm eating very slow and the food tastes so much better. 

Last night I had 3 cups of popcorn (I actually measured them) and it took me probably a half hour or more to eat it as I was savouring it. Same with some cheese as a snack. 

I'm not going to get over confident I have about 14 lbs to go from the high of 210 lbs but I'm on the right track. There is times I feel the same as when I did when I was totally in the zone doing heavy triathlon training. 

I also feel in a more relaxed zone about work. Still working hard but the uncertainty is gone and I'm super excited to see this journey. 

In one year it's been a crazy year. My world has been turned upside down on so many levels. I'm so looking forward to the next 3.5 years. I went from fat to fit and to Kona in 3.5 years and that is my benchmark for my new business. 

There is no reason it should take more than 3 years to be a mega success. I'll know within 1 year from now if we are on the right track. 

I'll know if I'm on the right track with my weight loss by the end of the month.