Finally a tough day...

This morning I weighed in at 193 lbs again on the button. Which is great, on the surface. The other measurements on the scale like body fat, water content, muscle, etc are way off.

I also know that at 193 lbs I should have less of a gut from past history. What it's really telling me is that I'm losing weight differently than I have in the past. Which is true. I'm dieting and moderately training away my pounds versus mega training away my pounds.

One one level I feel like a machine. Yes a dieting machine. This morning I stepped on the scale and saw the weight and I had an out of body type experience. I realized that dieting was now a way of life for me over the past 5 or 6 weeks and that just like a machine, it's a predictable process. You eat less, follow a strict routine of eating, you exercise and viola you lose weight.

Just like a machine. You put gas in and power comes out. It's super predictable. It's kind of a cool feeling knowing it's that easy and now that I'm in that routine it's like I'm a machine. Follow the process and the weight will continue to fall.

So I started my day off like that. Then I put a monkey wrench into the machine. I ATE my lunch. Normally I drink my lunch in the form of freshly squeezed juice. Instead I made a turkey sandwich.

The two reasons were as follows. The first was I thinking this might get my scale more balanced with all the readings. The second was I planned to go for a ride this afternoon and wanted more energy and more importantly thought that it might bring my heart rate down.

I was right about the heart rate. I went for an hour long ride and my heart rate was manageable. I was able to keep at at under 140 bpm for most of the ride, and it was one windy ride. On the scale I'm not yet sure, only time will tell.

I do know that losing 3 lbs in 4 days is unusual and my biggest fear is losing muscle. Yet I have this goal of getting under 190's and then when I do, then I'll start taking weight training supplements like beta alanine and C4 before I train and it will retain water and build muscle. I'm just to fragile of a mind to do anything that will increase weight right now. When I get down under 190 and more so in the 185 lb mark then I haven't got a problem doing supplements that will increase my weight.

Tonight being Friday we ordered in some pizza, just like last Friday. It was Domino's again and I figured it might be a good omen as last Friday I ate pizza, then had Easter dinner and still managed to drop 3 lbs in 4 days.

What is weird is the more carbs I eat the more light headed I get when I stand up. I thought it was to be the opposite. That when you eat carbs you do not get light headed when you stand up. In one way I like that feeling, in the other way I don't because I know I'm not eating correctly.

On my bike ride today it was awesome. It was a little cool and really windy, but it was enjoyable. That's what made it awesome. This was my second ride of the year and on my first ride of the year it was a tough ride and I was keep looking at my watch to calculate when it would be over.

Today I never looked at my watch once. I just enjoyed the ride. It was a nice short 1 hour plus ride and it felt great. It was one of those rides that you feel great to be alive.

I rode around 3 pm and it was a great ride to cap off a great week work wise. We made some final decisions and strings are being tied up on things outstanding. All the pieces are falling together nicely which is not always the case and I think this was the first ride in a long time that I had a clear mind and not a care in the world and felt great about my life and it was like a "victory lap" type of ride.

To put it in comparison I've had those rides where all you do is dwell on a problem or situation and although the ride inevitably helps you think through things or takes you off the ledge it's not as fun as a ride where you feel care free, like you were a kid again on a Saturday morning watching cartoons.

I'm not sure if it was breaking my routine and eating my lunch or the fact that I haven't had my hypnosis for a few days or more but I felt that I was on the verge of loosing my control of eating. I had beer in my mind a lot today, fought that in that there is no way I can drink until I get down to at least 185 lbs. The other was a Dairy Queen ice cream cake that Alice had in the fridge since Easter. I only had a 5% urge to have some, but it was a 5% more urge than I've had in the past 5 or 6 weeks.

It was an internal battle. To fight it, Alice and I went for an evening car ride and when we got home I went back upstairs to lie down and get a dose of "do not eat" hypnosis. It worked. It relaxed me so much I pretty much fell asleep and that shut down the eating for the night.

Mod Bike - 1:15 / 30.30 km
193 lbs