Our 26th anniversary was on Wednesday and that was my last training session. I did do three hours that day so it was great.
Then I got derailed for two reasons. First was I decided to take Thursday off as a recovery day and then I got into the Beer and watching world cup soccer. Thursday turned into Friday into Saturday and then Sunday without training.
Having a personality like mine is a strength as well as a weakness. When I decide to do something I do it with 100% commitment to success and beer is my nemesis. Once I started some recovery and drinking beers it threw me off track. For me I don't just have one or two, my personality won't allow it.
In the past I was so focused to succeed that having beers didn't stop me from training. I did some pretty intense workout with my head hurting a bit. Now I don't have that same motivation and with this being my last Ironman and the goal is to just finish my motivation is less.
Thank goodness I signed up to raise money for Doctors without Borders and that's the only thing keeping me motivated is that people have backed me and I can't let them down.
Beer is my friend and my foe. I don't know why but I just like the taste of beer. I've drank beer my whole life. I've stopped drinking beer for periods of time, once 7 years in my late teens and early 20's and many many times for months on end.
My issue is I binge drink. Once I get started I can't stop I like the feeling and it makes sense as I have an all or nothing personality. That's why I feel so natural doing Ironmans, it's an extreme lifestyle.
The only issue with have one to many with my personality is I do or stay stupid things sometimes. Other times is just one big laugh fest or some pretty good deep conversation.
Most of the time that I have regrets is doing something after I have more pints than I should. This past week I had some of those moments. Some laughs, some good conversation and some stupid stuff.
I did a lot of reflecting this past week and realized that most all the stupid stuff or things I regret doing have been when I've had a little too much than I should of and I didn't use good judgement.
This year I shut down the House of Payne Beer Run because I decided to stop drinking. Then I went back to it.
I think it's time to give it another shot and to stop drinking. I can't do moderation it's not me and in most cases it's a strength. So I have no choice but to quit outright.
My motivations are to do so is my health, not do stupid things and Salmon Social is going to be ready for prime time soon and I need to be 100% focused on driving it's success. The not doing stupid things is my biggest motivation. It just causes unneeded focus loss after the fact with rumination. Not to mention the loss of control as I want to eat junk food afterwards and so self sabotaging to my weight.
So tomorrow it's back to the training grind with a new found focus. It will be work, train, eat to lose weight and no beer.
Not to mention I need to limit my online social media stuff. That's a whole different story. It's so addictive.
Tomorrow's a new day.
P.S.Looking for all the support I could get as I fundraise for Doctors without Borders. Big our small donations welcome. Support a great cause. http://events.doctorswithoutborders.org/participant/bryanpayne
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This is exactly how I feel and act about drinking, I just can't drink less, like my friends do, it's all or nothing most of the time.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, December was one binge after another and on January 9th I decided to give up drinking for a year. The first couple of weeks were tough but after that I got used with it and I realized that it's much easier to not drink at all than to stop drinking after 3-4 beers.
Quitting drinking was one of the best decision I ever made. I still miss it once in a while, but the pay off was definitely worth the effort so far.
Thanks D. Congrats for you, no wonder your marathon time has gotten awesome!!! Also thanks for info, inspiring. Looking for the payoff now. Just picked up a book by Allen Carr that is very helpful and takes a different perspective.
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