Sunday, December 28, 2014

Back to the future...

So I wake up and first thing I do is head downstairs to the Pig & Whistle to work.

For those that do not know, the Pig & Whistle is the most awesome man cave on the planet. It's a world class bar with a walk out basement. Full TV, pool table, pin ball and 70 inch TV. It's every little boys dream.

So I don't go down to drink. Nope. Kegerator is broken.

I go down to work. I had research I needed to do for my business plan.

With that said, it didn't take long for me to start opening beers....from the bar fridge. As I mentioned, Kegerator is broken.

So I'm working away and making lots of progress. Then I'm thinking, "you know the guy I need to talk to is Lee Scott". Lee used to be the CEO of Walmart World and a guy I met and, well frankly, it's a long story.....but lets say the Walmart slogan, "Save Money. Live Better" is because of me.

I look on my computer and Lee's email is not there. Damn. I got his card a long time ago and I didn't put it into my database.

So I do the google search for "Lee Scott" and try to find his twitter address or something. I figure I'll get in touch with him that way.

No luck. And I'm good. I couldn't find it.

So I'm sitting thinking....where did I put his business card?

Only thing I can think of is in the "cubby hole". It's basically the crawl space under the stairs.

Last time I had Lee's business card was when he gave it to me in 2002 when I met him at a Saturday morning Walmart meeting in Arkansas.

So I go to the "cubby hole" and start looking.

Did I find the card?


What did I find?

I found a diary that I started in 1987, it was when I was 22 years old and I had not yet found my career path and was unemployed.

I started reading it and none of it was how I remembered it.

It's amazing how much your mind twists things.

First off, not has much changed from my 49 year old self to my 22 year old self.

The similarities was that I complained about my weight worse back at 22 at 165lbs as much as I do now at 205 lbs. Actually I complained more.

I can't tell you how many posts I read that I just ate 2 litres of ice cream, or in the middle of January we went to Dairy Queen.

Then I read I ran a lot. Almost everyday. My posts would read like this, tough day, ate 2 litres of ice cream, 4 hamburgers and ran 6 miles. No joke. That's how it read.

Some of the highlights....

I went to a movie with Alice almost every second day.

I turned down two jobs, one as a Fram Filter sales person, because my dad was going to get me a job at his work which fell through because "Ken and Doug" didn't think it was a good idea.

That forced me to find a job at Color Image, which is really Image Color, which is the company that launched my career.

It was funny reading about me offering to "work for free" to hire me. Which they did and they did end up paying me, $6 per hour.

I read about punching one of my brothers in the face with 3 quick lefts. I read about my neighbour dying and insisting before he went to the hospital that I feed the birds. And much more....

All stuff I remember "nothing about".

I even wrote on one post that this meeting with Martin Bergen, a big time land developer in my home city, that I applied for a job was so awkward that I would never forget it, ever.

Guess what....I forgot it. Even reading it I was like, "I kind of vaguely remember that. Sounds funny".

Big take aways or trends.....

I ate lots of ice cream. I went to Juniors a lot for hamburgers and fries. I went to a lot of movies with Alice.

A fun part was reading about how the owners of the business that hired me saw me as management and wanting to be the president of their company.

Touching part was reading about me and Neil Mackie, my boss. We had a lot of fun and pranks together and I wrote very flattering things about him. To this day Neil is the most "get things done with no bullshit guy" I know. We had so much fun and laughs and got shit done.

What was most apparent to me is not much changed in my soul. Actually I lie.

I'm less of a whinier today.

Yes, believe it or not as I was reading my diary I was wanting to slap myself. I was winning so much about eating to much and weight. I couldn't be happy.

I was also amazed at how judgemental I was and there was at one point  that I was thinking I needed to find God.

I had to stop reading. Not because I didn't want to read more. It was just that reading is not a normal behaviour and I was getting tired after about 3 hours.

But I didn't really stop.

Instead I found a book about my family ancestry and my grand father and his father. My Grandfathers father was in WW1. To read about the war injuries and how he came back not the same as he left and put mental hardship on his family was interesting.

Yup, mental hardship. No one would bring anyone home. One guy from my Great Grandfathers work as a painter at a big Canadian Pacific Hotel came over for dinner and my GG asked him if he was enjoying his meal because after the meal my GG said he was going to beat the shit out of him. No joke.

Could you imagine being that guy. Your eating. Then you find out you are going to get the shit beat out of you after the meal.

If it was me, I'd be eating really slow. I'd try to put my GG to bed.

In the end I realized one key thing. WE DON'T CHANGE.

Don't get me wrong. I've gotten better, but my core programming has not changed.

As much as I thought I've evolved and am smarter, I kind of am, but not really.

I'm more patient. I'm not as emotional.

But I'm still that same fucked up kid at 22 as I am now at 49.

I was reading passages of the diary to my kids. Both laughing. Reid big time.

To them it was bizarre. It wasn't like I was writing supper deep. There was times I was just describing what is was like to come out of the movie Platoon for the first time and other times describing my fights with family members.

I do know my handwriting was a lot better back then. I could actually read it.

I'm also amazed that I actually did it.

I'm not going to say it was easy to read either.

It's a very different feeling reading what your younger self felt from your older self perspective.

I will say I'm much smarter now. I read this stuff and wonder what direction life could have gone knowing what I know now and being able to apply it then.

The other thing I realize was how much Alice loves me and has been a rock. I even read about the day I proposed to her... on a park bench....then we went through a Wendy's drive thru for dinner.

I also look back at all the old pictures of my grand father and his family and I see the faces of those in the family now.

Interesting Sunday. It was like time travelling.

Then I was thinking "when future generations read this they are going to laugh in disbelief".

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