My situation is starting to change and I'm mentally transitioning from uncertainty to certainty. This transitioning has a very calming effect. More so that I would have imagined.
I'm starting to feel that life is once again getting back to normal. I felt like I was in this free fall journey for the past year and now I'm just coming out of it. The telling sign is I'm starting to feel in control once again and I'm feeling more than motivated to train. It's just feeling like the natural thing to do.
Yesterday something just snapped in me. I can't define it but something changed in that I know that I'm entering the next phase of my journey and I now look forward to focusing on the goal of making my new business a wild success and get back to training hard.
Yes training hard. And no I don't have a race or goal. Mind you there was a moment earlier today that the thought of signing up for a half Ironman crossed my mind. Then I thought of the swim and the last time I was in the swim and panicked and wondered if I could even do a half Ironman swim without panicking.
That is my only fear, the swim.
Talking about the swim, I swam today! First time since Ironman Boulder. I also went to the gym and did weights.
You have no idea how hard it was for me to finally head to the gym for two reasons. The first was I know it's going to hurt, a couple days later. It's the typical feeling of muscle soreness and tenderness you get when you don't work out for a while and your muscles atrophy. The second reason was I figured my training clothes will be a little tight and I'll have that Michelin man look and walking around soft with Ironman tattoos is a little embarrassing. I did upgrade to a large shirt from my normal medium shirts. But I was able to fit into my triathlon shorts. And in the end, it was no where near as bad, I felt comfortable.
My plan was to do weights. My plan was not to swim. After I did weights there was just a feeling that came over me to do a second workout. I knew if I didn't do a second training session I wouldn't feel like I trained.
The only dread I had was entering the cold water of the pool. I was pleasantly surprised to find the pool super warm. It was especially nice on a cold day, today it was -25C.
The swim? To say it was a slow swim is an understatement. I think I was doing about 2:10 per 100 yards. BUT I was in the water. I was swimming. And as much as I don't look like an athlete and I've lost most of my muscle, I FELT like an athlete again.
Walking out of the gym I felt great. It was like old times.
I can't say how great it was to relive those old times. It wasn't even a transition feeling. It was a "bam" old time feelings. The endorphins were going. The optimism was going. The feeling on top of the world was there.
My eating today was not a diet. I ate regular food and tried not to over eat or eat past 8 pm. I have a contest with Rodney to get down to 185 lbs by end of March and I doubt I'll get down there. I'm not going to starve myself and I'm just going to get back to what has always felt natural to me and the program I followed for years.
First off, I'm not a breakfast eater. I feel best when I don't eat a traditional breakfast. A banana and coffee is all I needed. Then lunch for me I feel best when I just have a sandwich and or a bowl of soup and dinner just anything so long as I don't over eat. There is nothing wrong with pizza, so long as it's not the entire pizza.
Today I was a little worried about the hand. I broke it in January and it should now be fine but lifting weights was going to be the test. It was a good test because I didn't even notice it unless I thought about it.
I know Simon keeps giving me "tick tock" about signing up for an Ironman. There has been times I was thinking should I sign up for a race and I come back to the same conclusion, "no way"...it beats up your body way to much.
Mind you today I was even thinking of doing a third training session. I had to drive out to Waterloo and I drive through the escarpment which is were I ride my bike and I was so wishing I could ride. If it was summer I would have gotten on my bike and rode.
I can't say how incredible I feel and how it happened immediately. It was like something snapped in my head and I'm feeling back to my natural self. I wish I could bottle this feeling right now. It's zen.
Weights - 45 min
Swim - 30:59 / 1280 meter
206.2 bs
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